Beautiful Memories

So I've written several times <click here> or <here> about what a wonderful person my mom was and what an amazing inspiration she was. And while I could certainly do that again, I think you can get the picture from the previous posts. My beautiful, amazing mother has been gone for 6 years today. Every year I imagine it would get easier but it never really seems to. Last year, I was in the midst of being pregnant and I didn't write a post for my mom. I wanted to celebrate all the beautiful and wonderful in my life and not dwell on the tragedy. That doesn't mean I didn't think about her, not many days go by that I don't, it just means I spent the day remembering in a different kind of way. It was refreshing and amazing and beautiful. And certainly the way I wish it could be every year. But this year has been . . . . . different. I am a mom this year. I have two amazing miracles. And she's missed the most important time in my life; my pregnancy & birth of my children. She's not there when I have a question or to celebrate milestones or just to watch the babies when I need a break. I know she would be head over heals for these babies and I think that's one of the hardest things. I want my children to know her, and what an amazing mother she was and what an amazing grandmother she would've been. I have no doubt that she watches over us and especially over the babies. So this year I wanted to remember my mom in pictures. And look back at the beautiful memories we shared for the 20 years I got to spend with her.

this was my mom @ christmas. i can't remember the exact year 

prom my senior year

this was the Christmas ('04) before my mom passed away. one of the things i'm most thankful for is she felt good for her last Christmas. And even though she has lost a lot of weight I think she looks beautiful and happy

hoover dam

grand canyon

i love this picture! i was my mom's world and even at a young age she was mine!

my mom loved dalyn. i think she knew from the second she met him that he was an amazing man. she loved to laugh and have fun with us

this picture was taken the day after dalyn and i got engaged

i love this picture of my mom and dad holding hands. 

always laughing and having fun together

The last thing I want to end with is a little story. The last few days my mom was alive in the hospital, we talked a lot. One of the things I kept telling her was that I was so sad she wasn't going to be there for my wedding. Thankfully, we had gotten to do a lot of planning together so she had been a huge part of a lot of it. But we had purposely moved our date up by 4 months in hopes my mom would be there. Unfortunately, she didn't make it. But she did tell me in the hospital. I won't miss it, I promise you'll know I'm there. Right before my dad gave me away we released a white dove in memory of my mom. Being a wild bird, we expected it to fly away immediately. Well, it didn't. Instead it fly up into this tree above the ceremony, sat there for a while and then flew down and finished watching the ceremony from the isle. After the ceremony was over someone was able to catch the bird and we got pictures with it. No doubt a very special moment and definitely let us know she was there. Someone kept the dove after the wedding and it ended up flying away a few days after we returned from our honeymoon. See pictures below. . .

where the bird first landed

if you look closely you can see the bird in the center of the isle

our picture with the dove

I love and miss you mom!