because sometimes you have something to say

Its been 4 years, 2 months and about 18 days since I published my last blog post.

Well.....that's a lie. I've started several small side blogs since Our Front Porch Looking In but none that felt quite so me. I'd write a post but then just draft it until......later. Okay, maybe never. There have been so many times I've told myself this will be the year I return to blogging and so many years have continued to slip away.

So......

Are you wondering what I'm doing back, yet?

No....not pregnant.
No....not going through fertility.
No....no huge life changes.

I had a picture pop up on my timehop......see below.......

And I thought to myself....."remember that time when you weren't scared to open up to the world and tell people what you were going through? The really scary, really personal time? When your emotions were often raw and life wasn't always rainbows and sunshine." I remember that time.....and boy do I remember it well. 

But guess what.....I've lived sooooo much life since then. Life that was 10 times more raw and dark than I thought any of those times were. 

I've moved, I've lost a brother, I've lost a father, I've almost lost a husband, I've lost friends, I've been scared, I've been alone, I've been mad, I've felt guilty, I've been devastated. And when I saw this I picture I realized maybe someone.....even just one person might benefit from me saying...."I've been there and I'm here. You can always talk to me, without judgement." Just one person's life might be changed or forever impacted by knowing she's not alone. After-all, that's how this blog evolved. By me saying I am standing in the midst of a fertility crisis and here it is. Raw and Real!!!

So here I am.....

I'm coming back to this platform. No....it will def not all be dark, heavy, sad shit. It will be happy. It will be funny. It will be sad. It will be me. Some days it may be about me, some days it may be about my family, some days it may be about life, some day it may be about God, some days it may be about friends, some days it may just be random. I really don't know honestly. But I feel my heart is bringing me back here. So I'll take it day by day and we'll see where it leads. 

P.S. My grammar is shit. Sometimes my language is too. So don't come here for that or to judge.