Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Maybe, Possibly

Infertility was by far one of the longest, most painful journeys I've taken in my adult life thus far. And is some ways I still question is it really over?!? I question should I completely let myself go and believe that it's finally our time and that God has blessed us with a miracle. I think a lot of my fear is that I've taken so long to get here I can't imagine losing what I've waited so long for. I go back to the doctor tomorrow and I'm really nervous about my blood work. I just pray that everything will be ok, even though in the pit of my stomach I feel it will be. I mean don't get me wrong I'm ecstatic about being pregnant but I'm very terrified to allow myself to completely fall into it for fear of being heartbroken. Every little twinge or cramp I question. Luckily, I haven't had any spotting (fingers crossed that I don't) otherwise I think I would be completely on the edge. After tomorrow I think I'll be able to rest a little more at ease. For now I just wanted to share a little of my early pregnancy anxiety. I'll update you on the b/w tomorrow!!

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