Friday, October 21, 2011

Tough

So I've been thinking a lot since my dismissal from my job on Monday. What I could've done differently, what I learned, what I will take moving forward, and what I will leave behind. A few years ago Dalyn brought this clipping from the newspaper home and for whatever reason I held onto it and as I was searching for a pen I ran across this clipping. Here is what it read . . . .

     "Lincoln, through, doesn't know any other way to approach it. He credits his family and coaches for helping him become mentally tough, as well as his tendency to be his harshest critic. 
     "When I lay my head down in bed after I pray and I think about the day that I just lived, I think about the day that I'm going to get up and live the next day, " Lincoln said Sunday. "It's not about letting the things that happened to you in the past eat you up. It's about learning from them, coming back, not taking a thing for granted and being mentally tough in that respect""


The last two lines struck me pretty intensely. I have done nothing but examine the entire situation that has unfolded in my life the past few weeks leading up to Monday. And I guess you could say in some regard it was eating me up. Although, I was dwelling on them, I wasn't really try to learn from them or come back. So today I decided to make a change. What happened, happened. It's now the past in my life and nothing I could do or say today would change that outcome. But honestly, I'm perfectly okay with that. A lot of my issue was this search for acceptance I think. This was the one time if my 'working life' that I hadn't been welcomed with open arms. That I hadn't had a great working relationship with my co-workers. That I was just plain miserable in my job. So today, I got out of bed at 6:45, got ready, put on some of my nicest clothes and went on a job interview. I walked in confidentially, I held my head high, I talked about my strongest assets as a person and employee, I was the person I've always been. Confident in who I was as a person, but also as an employee. I'm not confident that I'll get the job but I think it helped me come full circle with the events that have unfolded the last few weeks. I wasn't the person they had made me out to be. I wasn't the person I had seen myself become. I am going to come back and in my next job I'm going to do great things!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Short Lived

My life as a working mom that is. And no it wasn't by choice. Yes, that's right, yesterday I was fired, canned, axed! However you say it, I was let go. Now, let me just start by saying, I have never been fired from a job. Not in high school or college or ever! I take great pride in doing a good job in the workplace. So yesterday when I was asked to step into the drs office with the office mgr, I was floored when he said I was being let go. Was this really happening? I was so mad, embarrassed, surprised, I honestly didn't have a clue what to say or do. He said most of the deciding factors of letting me go was that they were so slow and couldn't afford me. But, he did say there were also a few smaller factors that he didn't want to go into unless I wanted to. And by that I heard 'these are the real reasons we're letting you go but this is the one we're using to try and help you save face.' So my next statement was, actually I would like to go into it. I mean if I screwed up, I wanna know how. Now, let me stop here and say, since the first day I started working one of the front office girls has had major issues with me. MAJOR! I mean, go out of her way to be a B* to me. And a few weeks back the drs pulled me into their office to ask if I was happy and I went into the issues I was having with her. I thought maybe that would calm things down some but I"m not sure they really seen it my way. So I had a pretty solid feeling a lot of my being "let go" actually had to do with her. To some of my defense it did.  She made my working life miserable. So from the second I walked in I was on the defense and apparently that was pretty apparent and the drs felt like I had a bad attitude. And I"m not gonna lie, I probably did. But, never once, not once, did I let that follow through to patients. They didn't see it that way and so I was the one to hit the door. So this morning I woke up at 8am and in a few minutes my babes are going to be stirring and I'm going to scoop them out of their cribs and I'm never looking back. Most of my hurt is really for Dalyn. And let me say he was in no way upset or mad at me. But I took this job in hopes to get us better off financially, with the hopes of being able to buy him a practice soon. But apparently, God has other plans so for now I'm trusting him and hoping for something way better to come along! And I'm gonna enjoy spending my free time with these two cuties











So I'm back to the blogging world. And to be honest I'm pretty excited about that too. I'm excited to start catching back up with all my old blogs. And maybe this had given me some motivation to get some of my craft projects done! Hope you all have a great week!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Dead or Alive

Yes, we are all still alive and well here in our household. We have had LOTS of big changes in the last few months. One, very big change that's taken me away from the computer, internet and blog a lot more often.


I went back to work! Yes, I'm officially no longer a SAHM. I have to admit it's really very strange. I was out of work for about a month and half before the babies were born and never went back after they were born. We are in a massive save all we can and pay off as much debt as we can mode. Which is hopefully going to bring even bigger changes in the next year. I ended up taking a job at another dentist office in town which is kind of strange considering Dalyn is a dentist. So far on a scale of 1 to 10 of how much I like it I would give it a 3! haha No really, it's not even that I miss my kids (which I do so terribly much that I cried everyday for the first week or so over everything), it's more that I'm just not crazy about my co-workers. I won't elaborate much more than that but I think my tolerance for people is a lot less than it use to be before I had kids. Drama drives me even more crazy and people who don't have respect for you as a person really creeps under my skin. So it's been an interesting few weeks to say the very least. 


So, I know your next question is going to be what we're doing with the kids. What, does anyone still ready anymore? hahaha We found an amazing daycare for an amazing ridiculous price and with the whole point of me going back to work being SAVING, we decided to hire a nanny. We started in the most unlikely of places, with my dad! He's retired and doesn't really have a lot going on back home so he volunteered to keep the babies for 1/4 of the price of daycare. So for now that's our plan. I think we'll go with it through maybe November or December and then re-access. 


Okay bloggy readers I have so much more to blog about but 6am comes way to early. Hopefully, I'm gonna get back into a routine and start blogging more. I also have TONS of pictures to upload.