Saturday, August 29, 2009

No Worries

I am still alive. I know its been a while since my last blog and I do apologize. While we live in Knoxville, I only worked part time, so I had tons and tons of time to myself to do the things I love, including blogging. As I posted in a previous blog I decided when we moved here to accept a full time job. Apparently I had forgotten how little time I had to myself when I had a full time job. Course, it doesn't help that I've been working until like 7 or 7:30 every night this week. I have tons of stuff I've been wanting to blog about and it just keep building up and building up. Hopefully, things at work will slow down in the next week or so.

In other news, I reluctantly welcomed AF today, for the first time in 16 weeks. It made me really sad this morning to realize that I would've been 16 weeks today and almost 1/2 way through a pregnancy. I'm trying not to focus on it. Dalyn and I had originally decided that we wouldn't do IUI this month. Well, that was before we knew it was going to take AF so long to arrive. Needless to say we are going back and forth trying to make a decision what to do. I'm sure I will keep you guys updated as to what we're going to do.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

confessions of an infertile

So the past few days I've really been debating hard about writing the post. I knew I had it in my mind but just couldn't write it out. I just need a little inspiration for God or something to want to share it. Welp this morning I woke up and there it was. My inspiration you ask, an email on my phone saying "The Bump: Week 14." As you all know about 12 weeks ago or so Dalyn and I found out the wonderful news that we we're expecting our first child. What an unbelievable, unexplainable gift from God. But sadly just a few shorts weeks later our reality came crashing in that there was no baby growing there. Now today it's been 14 weeks since our last infertility treatment and well everyday that it gets closer to AF showing up I dread it more and more. When we first decided to have a D&C and I was so ready to move forward with more treatments. And now that the time is getting closer and closer to start, I'm getting farther and farther away from wanting to. I don't know why exactly but I think it could amount to a whole handful of reason. . . .
  1. Needles
  2. Meds
  3. Ultrasounds
  4. Failure
  5. Fear of Pregnancy Again
  6. Being constricted to this area for all but 2 weeks a month
  7. More failure.
  8. And more failure
  9. Having to resort to IVF, a final effort
  10. And more failure

just to name a few. I really don't think it's one reason in particular, I think just everything builds up and then I continue to dread it more and more. Now don't get me wrong, this doesn't change the fact that I want a child of my own more than anything else in this world. Because believe me I still do.

So what's the resolution? We haven't really decided for sure yet. I really have this strong conviction in my heart that if God wants us to have a child, he will provide it for us whether through IUI, IVF or naturally. I think that whatever means we take to get pregnant it will be in His time. So with that being said we've decided to take it month to month. This month we're going to try naturally and if it happens it was meant to be and if not we'll access where we are next month. I think it seems to be what works best for us at this place in our lives and infertility journey.

Please pray for Dalyn and I and the decisions we are having to make and face. Obviously I think neither one of us ever thought we'd be here but then again who does. Please pray that it will be God's time and that he will bless us with a the true miracle of life.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

passing me by

Time seems to be flying by me right now. I blink and it seems like another day, another week and then another month is gone! It's so hard for me to believe that we've been back in NC for almost a month now. I seen my first week of work come and go in a flash. So far I like my job, I've realized its going to be a lot more stressful than I first realized. But it's amazing to be able to walk down the hall and see the man of your dreams face. It seems to make the day so much better and enjoyable. I've been charged with making a lot of changes at the clinic and I think its not going to increase my ratings in the office but I think its going to be a really great opportunity for me. On a funner note, I have my first "real" office and I'm really wanting to start getting settled in. I've found several really fun office things but I just can't decide on anything yet. If anyone has any suggestions, please send them on! I posted some of the stuff I found, of course it's all from etsy.

Suggestions welcome, please?!?! Artwork or anything!

Also, I know everyone is waiting for a infertility update but there really isn't much to report on this end. Still waiting on AF, I'll be on CD 26 tomorrow. My cycles have been about 32 days over the past few months so we'll keep a watch on the next few days. I'll be sure to update everyone when something does change.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

my best friend

I'm a little late but 4 years ago on Thursday I married my best friend and the love of my life.

I couldn't be more thankful for this wonderful man! I celebrate our marriage everyday.

Dalyn, I Love You to the moon and back!!!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Happy 27th Birthday.......

to this wonderfuly amazing man in my life!!I couldn't thank Dalyn's parent's enough for bringing him in this world. Dalyn, I hope you had a wonderful birthday and I look forward to spending many many many more with you.
I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON & BACK!

Monday, August 3, 2009

Hello, Again, Working World

So several of you have been asking what I've decided with the job front and continuing with infertility treatments. Well, here's the skippy. Friday afternoon I received an offer letter from the clinic Dalyn works at. I hadn't really interviewed for the position but had given her my resume for a previous position they had open, apparently I was so good there was no interview needed :-).

So here's a little overview of the clinic... Most of their patients include uninsured and indigent population in a surrounding radius of about 6 counties or so. They have been seeing patients on the medical side for quite some time but Dalyn is the first dentist they've ever had and is in charge of getting the dental side up and running. My official title is "Practice Manager" which I think might turn into a catch all title. I will be over all front desk staff on both the medical and dental side, so part of my position is to integrate policies and procedures on both sides. I will be responsible for insuring the front desk runs smoothly, including placing patients in fee brackets, verifying income, collecting payments, etc. Another huge part of my position is collecting charge sheets, insuring that they are coded correctly and getting them off to billing. A lot of this is going to be a pretty big learning curve but I have confidence in myself that I can learn it. All in all, I'm extremely excited to get started. I finished all my paperwork today and got settled into my new office. It's in some serious need of decor. The interior designer in me desperately wants to paint it. But I'm scouring everywhere for some great decor and artwork. So if any of you are artist or know somewhere to get great office stuff please let me know. Of course I've been shopping like crazy on my trusty etsy.com and have turned up a few great finds. I will let y'all know what I end up finding/buying.

So where does this job leave me with treatments? Well, I haven't discussed anything with them yet. My boss is Dalyn's boss and she knew that we had been pregnant. As a matter of fact she sent me a very beautiful pot of flowers saying she was thinking of me right after we had the D&C. So I'm sure she kind of knows and I have faith she is going to be very understanding. But my thoughts are, my doctor's office starts seeing patients at 7:30, well I don't have to be at work until 9. So if I can get an early appointment I should be back in plenty of time. Also, my other option is, part of my job will take me to Greenville (where my dr office is) once or twice a week. My thought is I could just let her know and take lunch to go to the dr office there and then do what I need to do for work after. Of course these are all just thoughts running through my mind and I have no idea how they truly will work when it comes down to it. I'm sure I will be keeping y'all updated on this.

Hope every one's week is off to a great start!!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Back on the Infertility Treatment Horse

Drum roll please, the first infertility post since our loss.

So I feel like after about a 12 week break from infertility treatments I'm ready to jump back on the horse, so to speak. We're waiting until my next cycle to start treatments. We haven't quite decide what steps we're going to take from here but we're going to have to decide fairly quickly. I went back to the doctor Friday and he is in agreement that my body should be ready to start again on my next cycle. We discussed where to go from here with treatments and our future plans for treatments. Dalyn and I had talked about going through two more treatments of IUI and then moving forward with IVF. You see here is our dilemma, in Knoxville we were fortunate enough to get all of our infertility treatments for free. Since the hubby was a resident and we seen a doctor associated with the hospitals she treated residents for free. (Really nice, huh?) But it got us a little spoiled too. So our main discussion is how many times and how much money to we do and spend with IUI before we decide our money would be better spent with IVF. This is where the trying IUI two more times comes in. He was in complete agreement with our plan but did make the comment not to be set in stone. He said if we go through twice and everything looked great we just didn't get pregnant he said he wouldn't be completely opposed to trying one more round of IUI.

So, now that we are all in agreement, we will start things up after this cycle. He said to go ahead and try naturally this cycle but that he didn't want to force the issue after my body had already been through so much. I'm completely in agreement with that! So now we're just waiting on AF to show up. He said he couldn't really say when he thought that would be, he said that it would probably run about my normal cycle length but could be a little longer or shorter. I'd be on about cycle day 15 or so I guess so hopefully in another couple of weeks. The plan is to start out with a very similar cycle to the one we got pregnant on. He didn't want to do the exact cycle because he said with our ages and other factors he felt like 4 follicles (what I had the cycle we conceived) might be taking to much of a risk. So this cycle we're going with 5 mg Femara on CD 3-7 and Gonadotropin (1 amp) on CD 8-11. We will do a ultrasound on CD 11 and see where the follicles are and then go from there.

All in all, I'm very excited (never thought I'd say that) and anxious to get started. I feel like both Dalyn and I are just really ready to get pregnant and we know this is what its going to take so we're ready to get started. I just wanted to take a moment to sincerely thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers over the last few weeks. They were greatly appreciated. Please continue to pray for us in the coming months that we will easily find ourselves pregnant again.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

More Sea Life Memories

Today was a adventure packed day for us and our doggie family. Dalyn and I got up this morning and ran into Greenville for some dog food. On the way back we decided to go for a scenic drive. Unfortunately, I left my camera at home, but we visited several places along the way including the small town of Bath, the Bayview ferry and Goose Creek State Park. We are loving getting to know this amazing area. Every little town we see I absolutely love, they are all so charming a quaint.

This afternoon when we got back home we were taking the dogs out for a walk. Of course the first place they head for is the dock. To many fun things happening out there. Well, before Dalyn could even get out far enough for Allie to have enough leash, off in the water she went. She's just recently starting becoming brave enough to just straight off the dock into the water. When we get over to see what she's doing she is trying with all her might to drag this log up to the dock. We could tell it was big because she was really struggling with it. Dalyn goes to get her up out of the water and she loses it back in the water. Of course he doesn't get her back up on the dock and she's diving back in. This time he gets the log up and then gets her up. To our surprise it truly is a log. I just couldn't help but share.

It was about 4 ft long and 2 ft in diameter!! She was so proud of this log and she'll be happy to know we left it right on the water's edge so she can see her accomplishment every time she goes out.

Normally, while I cook dinner Dalyn has gotten to where he heads out to do a little fishing. To this point his fishing has resulted in a few tiny brim. So tonight I'm in the middle of cooking and glance out the window to see Dalyn waving his hands for me to come out to the dock. So my first reaction is to grab the camera and head on out. And to my surprise looky at what my fishermen hubby at caught. . .

It's a flounder and it was actually really good sized. I couldn't be any prouder of him!!!

On The Hunt for . . . Seafood Recipes

I have so much I've been meaning to blog about. It's suppose to rain here tonight and tomorrow so I'm hoping I'll be able to catch up but in the meantime I have something really quick and simple. As you know by now, we're living on the coast and with that comes the luxury of fresh seafood, YUM!!! (be jealous or come visit :-)) Well, I've been out searching recently some of my favorite sites for seafood recipes. I've come across several that look great but honestly I hate to waste perfectly good seafood on bad recipes. So here's where you come in. If you or someone you know has a great seafood recipe, send them my way!!! PLEASE!! They can either comment below with the recipe in it or email me at jessicawebb01@gmail.com
I look forward to seeing what y'all come up with and sharing any new delicious recipe finds!